Cerne Abbas
by Iklepixie
Summary: 5 years of trying to get pregnant have left Bella and Edward's marriage strained. Prepared to try anything at this point, Edward agrees to Bella's outrageous plan of flying to England and sleeping on the fertility giant.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Thank you to Marlena516 for everything she is and her support. She has helped me knock random thoughts into sentences.

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 _Chapter 1_

 _EPOV_

"It is said that having sex on the phallus will help you become pregnant within the year," declares the website. Who makes this shit up? Having sex in a public place is risky enough, but on a protected landmark in a foreign country is kind of kinky.

"It's British folklore," Bella states, barely glancing my way. "Besides, loads of people have done it and it worked for them."

"These "people" - do we know them?"

Bella turns and gives me the look. You know the one, makes you question everything you've ever said.

"We've spent more than ten thousand dollars on IVF and it didn't work for us. Maybe a vacation isn't the worst idea at this point."

Not sure I ever want to have timed sex with a thermometer again.

Ovulation has become a job. No longer are we making love; no, no, that has long since gone out the window. Now we are timed clockwork robots, injecting hormones and moving in time.

We're missing the intimacy and the connection we felt when first together. Something is going to have to give; I just hope it's not our relationship. The spontaneity has gone and has been replaced with a wedge between us. We discuss this like it's a business arrangement, not even in the same part of the room. I sit alone on the sofa as she busies herself tidying the condo.

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Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Marlena516 is an angel as always.

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 _Chapter 2_

 _EPOV_

What's the worst that can happen? I'm at a loss as to how to stop this downward spiral.

Where is Cerne Abbas, anyway? It isn't exactly something you stumble upon by accident. Flight to London, then car rental, don't forget driving on the wrong side of the road. And roundabouts. I mean, what's the matter with traffic lights? I think I have anxiety issues. I'm overthinking this before I even book the tickets. End goal: baby. Keep reminding myself of that. Not just a baby but a shared piece of DNA. Something to tether us together, beyond the two of us. Settle us, ground us. The starting of a legacy. Now I feel like I'm in an episode of _Game of Thrones_.

She is stunning, my wife. Long brown hair flowing down her spine, petite, heart-shaped lips so soft to touch and the darkest brown eyes you will ever find. To know her is to love her. To watch her get her period destroys a part of my soul with every passing month. At first we talked and held each other; now we hold ourselves apart from one another. The grief is driving us apart. But England might just be the answer - this harebrained scheme might just be what we need. Already I feel this working.

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Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Marlena516 works wonders with words.

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Chapter 3

EPOV

It wasn't always this way. In our early honeymoon phase, we covered every surface of our home and could barely keep our hands off each other. We took contraception seriously. Given how hard we're actually trying to conceive these days, I feel we missed an opportunity to say 'fuck it,' earlier on. We are obviously not the couple to get pregnant after having sex once. Not even once an hour or even timed to once when ovulating.

I'm getting bitter, I know I am. I can feel a coil tightening around me and it will make me snap. So many expectations on us. Family and friends helpfully hinting at what worked for them. Legs up, Bella on top, orgasm first or last. No one really has the answer. Doctors are no better. Don't wear tight underwear, keep your balls cold, don't be restrictive, keep active. Google and YouTube haven't helped either. (Don't judge. We men are practical about these things.) I can barely work out how the human race has survived all these years.

And then there is my wife, my beautiful wife who attends all her friends' baby showers, celebrates every birth. Yet she comes home and falls apart in my arms, again devastated it's not her turn - as if she waits in line long enough, it will be us.

The doctors can't find anything wrong with either of us. After four years of being tested for everything, they suggested we keep trying. Our savings already paid for three failed inseminations, but it feels like we have to keep going. Anything else would mean we have failed each other. Neither of us wants to examine who we'll become to each other if we remain just the two of us. I can't bear the look on her face, knowing I'm the one to disappoint her. I have thought about suggesting she has an affair or a one-night-stand. You know - go out, get knocked up, and we all live happily ever after. But I can't bring myself to say the words. My masculinity has been questioned by my family and friends, with snide jokes like, _Are you just not man enough for the job?_ Obviously they now know the extent of our family planning woes and the jokes have stopped, but the comments have never left me.

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Thank you for reading, please leave your thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Thank you to Marlena516 who makes sense of my ramblings.

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Chapter 4

EPOV

"So, when are we doing this?" I ask, because I have long since given up being the decision maker. I don't decide when to be horny anymore; it's a detailed timetable pinned to the fridge, where I can't miss it. It gives me performance anxiety. What if I can't get it up on the 12th?

"I don't think it matters. We tried science and that didn't work for us. Let's go in the summer - there's a small hope that it might be better weather then."

I reach for Bella and wrap her in my arms. "Sounds good to me. Then again, anything with you sounds good to me."

She giggles and pulls away. "You'll wrinkle my shirt."

Wrinkles in her shirts were the least of her worries at one point. Finding Bella's shirt after she had relieved herself of clothing and pounced used to be a bigger issue.

"Late July. I'll book the vacation time at work."

So that's when we'll end or make this marriage. I would happily be her husband for eternity, but I'm no longer convinced she feels the same way about me.

Straightening her clothes and checking her appearance in the hallway before she leaves for work. Bella looks elegant and powerful in her fitted jacket and pencil skirt. It hugs the curve of her ass and makes her legs look like they go on forever. Even though it's embarrassing to admit, it's the cuddles and snuggles I miss the most. All of the affection we share is saved up and used in what is hoped to be a successful deposit at the right time on the right day by the third phase of the moon.

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Thank you for reading, I love hearing your thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

As always thank you to Marlena516 for the time she has spent with me on this.

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Chapter 5

EPOV

My day goes from bitter to jealous when Bella calls to say she's working late with Mike tonight and I need to get my own dinner. Dinner is not the problem, Mike is. I see the way he looks at her. I know I thought about Bella having an affair to solve our problems, but it can't be with this slimeball. He obnoxiously flirts with her and she barely responds. He creates situations where she needs to work late or come in on weekends. Bella is great at her job, but she will never be promoted - he needs her at his level far too much. I'm pretty sure he takes all of the credit too.

I make it home and cook dinner, making sure there is a plate set up for when she arrives home. I set up my laptop in front of the TV and surf the sports channels. I suppose I should start looking at soccer so I can follow it when in England. When in Rome and all that.

I awake to the sound of heels on the wooden floors. It's late, nearly eleven - Bella's home. Shuffling to my feet, I head into the kitchen to greet her. Looking tired and weary, she stands near the refrigerator. In these moments I'm never sure if she stays late to avoid me or really has to work.

"Hey, dinner's in there, saved you a plate."

"Thank you," is all she says.

I want to drag her to bed, wrap her in my arms and hold her while she sleeps. She looks exhausted and defeated. What has our marriage become when I feel it's not right for me to want to hold and comfort her?

"You look exhausted. Do you want me to draw you a bath?"

"That sounds amazing right now. These heels have been killing me all day."

I head to the bathroom and run the water. A few moments later she arrives, taking me by surprise as she wraps her arms around my waist.

"You're the best husband a woman could ask for." She stretches up and kisses my cheek.

I'm apparently a pushover, as that small moment between us realigns the planets and I remember who we are without all the added pressures of life.

Stepping back into the kitchen, I wash the dishes from dinner and clean down the counters, setting the coffee machine ready for in the morning in the process.

Exhausted from my own day, I fall into bed, almost asleep once more when Bella slips in behind me and snuggles down. I turn and wrap Bella in my arms as we drift off together. This is what we need. Time together.

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Thank you for reading, I love reading your thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

To my guest reviewer - thank you for reading and letting me know your story. Congratulations of your pregnancy. x

Marlena516 is all kinds of awesome.

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Chapter 6

EPOV

Telling friends and family we're heading to Europe is easy. Them asking where we're travelling to also easy. They all assume London. I mean, who doesn't visit England and go to London? We are now going to have to figure a way of including London in the trip. Staged photos of us in front of Big Ben and Buckingham Palace are going to be needed.

The weeks fly by and with every passing day, we seem to be finding our path together. We're back to lingering touches and brushing of fingertips. (Can only imagine what my friends would think of the sap I've become.) It's not just me; Bella too seems to have been stepping up. Little notes in my bagged lunch, texts when she's leaving the office, picking up my favorite treats from the bakery. All of this makes me think the random chalk giant drawn in a hillside is already answering our prayers.

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Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Without Marlena516 this would never see the light of day.

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Chapter 7

EPOV

Bags are packed, tickets in hand and off we head to the airport. Once we check in, the enormity of what we're hoping to happen hits me again. What if this mythological idea doesn't work? It's ancient folklore, the stuff of legends. What's next, sparkling vampires?

We manage to sleep on the 10-hour flight, both tucked up under a blanket resting on each other. After landing, we rent a car for the 2-hours road trip to the bed and breakfast, driving through quaint little villages and wooded landscapes. Stunning scenery with herds of ponies suddenly crossing the roads and unmarked cattle grids are all interesting ways to keep you alert. I can see why they call it the New Forest. Full of new experiences, especially for a city dweller like me.

We arrive at our bed and breakfast and I hear Bella gasp. It is picture-card-beautiful. An old thatched inn, the Brace of Pheasants is in a village called Plush. You can't make that shit up.

Our room has low ceilings; well low to my 6'3" frame, with stripped-back-beams. Tasteful decor in natural shades, with a large, inviting bed. Bella is wandering around, touching everything and taking it all in.

Taking Bella in my arms as we stare out at the view, I start to consider how this is going to work. There are leaflets in the room about the giant, but all of them say how it's a national monument. It feels weird to know we plan on defiling it. Even if it is a giant penis drawn into the hillside.

Emmett would have a field day if he knew. I would never live this down.

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Thank you for reading.

Shout out to my lovely reviewers - your support is blowing me away. xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Marlena516 makes everything better.

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Chapter 8

EPOV

Lost in thought, I'm surprised when I turn to see Bella has stripped out of her clothes and stands proudly in nothing but underwear. She is beautiful, all women and curves and soft, supple skin. Lace and satin, delicious. I reach for her hands gravitating forwards.

Holding her, touching her, tasting her, making love to her. I know it isn't the manly phrase on the planet, but Christ, this woman owns me. Connecting with her, just the two of us, hoping to make an addition.

Later, we head out to get our bearings. The setting is beautiful. I'm taking so many photos, mainly on my phone, but some warrant using out the big camera. When you imagine a quintessential English country garden, this is the image that comes to mind.

We are are back to being husband and wife. Back to being us. I can't express how this feels. I'm weightless.

There is hand holding, snuggles, little nudges, innocent brushes of fingers against skin. I can't not touch her. Like magnets we're pulled together.

We look up the forecast and decide tomorrow is a good day to visit the giant. I hope this is everything we hope it to be. I would love to make a family with Bella, but for me it doesn't have to be biological. I just want her in my life. The way we were before our trip makes me realize we were both at fault; we buried the emotional loss and it turned into silence, restlessness and resentment. That isn't who we are. This is who we are.

Eating venison and dark chocolate sausages with a traditional pint in hand, we talk, not just about today but about the parts of our lives we've omitted from each other in the past months. Little things, like the accounts Bella is working on, to making small future plans. We've both enjoyed the outdoors, and it's been months since we had the time to be out without any time constraints or responsibilities.

We head off to bed with the promise of being in the presence of a giant dick in the morning.

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Thank you for reading.

I enjoy hearing your thoughts and predictions too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

 **Marlena516 makes it all better.**

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Chapter 9

EPOV

There it is. It is a formidable sight from the viewing area. Just looking up at it is making me question my manhood. It's always been able to do the job before, but maybe it's lacking in some way?

"Yours is perfect for me." Bella smiles up at me, as if she knows my internal struggles.

To think it is someone's job, mowing around his penis. Well, not just his manhood, but the whole outline. Not sure how you write that on a resume - dick mower or manscape gardening service? Again I think of Emmett and how he would be enjoying this moment.

The monument is impressive, 180 feet of giant. Here, carved into the hillside and filled with white chalk, stands what is said to be a representation of Hercules, fully erect and club in hand. I kid you not. I take a few photos. I even make sure we get a selfie with it in the background. This needs to be captured and saved. (Probably never shared, though.)

We head off on the trail, following the route maps, holding hands. I feel I should say something profound, but words are not my friend.

"Bella, I just want you to know I love you. I may not be able to provide you with everything your heart desires, but I love you with all of me. If this doesn't work out, then we can look at adoption or surrogacy or other ways to make up for what I can't give you."

She reaches up and holds my cheek in her small hand. "I love you, too."

We continue our walk in silence.

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Thank you for reading.

To the loyal followers of this thank you for coming back again for each chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Marlena516 is a true star.

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Chapter 10

EPOV

It's dusk as we reach the foot of the hill, twilight by the time we reach his feet. Others are around and I'm wondering if we're all here for the same reasons. Would we operate a queuing system? I mean, the British are known for queuing.

We walk around the outline; up close, his penis is prominently displayed. I thought up close we might be able to gloss over it, but no, it's staring back at me. If he were in proportion he still had an impressive member. No wonder he was a god.

Bella's grip on my hand remains into the darkness. Luckily, everyone else seems to have cleared out. This is it. We've never been exhabitionists, but this is for a cause.

Soft, languid kisses, innocent touches, searching for skin. Building to more. Pulling Bella towards me as we approach the phallic symbol. I lower myself to the floor and pull her on top of me. I have no idea how this is going to work. Bella seems to have a better idea and her hands are on my belt. The wriggling is doing amazing things to my own symbol of manhood. Moving in synchronization, we get into a position that will make this all possible. Wind is blowing around us, the sounds of nature echoing in the hills with the completely overwhelming feeling of being buried inside my wife. It's spiritual. Pulling her down to me as I reach my peak sends Bella over her edge.

" _Wow_." I've been left dazzled and in awe.

"I agree," Bella says breathlessly, as her hands caress me face. Happy to see I'm not the only one affected.

We clean up quickly. Bella had at least had the forethought for wet wipes. Heading back along the trail, I don't think I have ever loved her more. Sex has made me giddy; I'm still trying to be as close to her as possible. I really hope this was everything she wanted it to be. I know the romance was lacking, but in outdoor sex the risks of being caught are too great.

"Thank you - not just for this, but for being married to me."

"Sweetheart, I would do anything for you. I love you." I say hugging her close. "Besides, I kind of enjoyed myself back there. Al fresco has new meaning."

With little kisses and arms entwined we walk back to the car park. Yeah, we're not inconspicuous at all. Anyone seeing us knows exactly what went down up there.

And right now I just don't care.

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AN: This chapter made me work for it. All mistakes as always are mine - I'm a tweaker.

Thank you for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Marlena516 is my rock.

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Chapter 11

EPOV

That night, we decide to make the most of our time here, planning day trips and sightseeing. Surprisingly, we seem to have developed an interest in British historical sights. As the days progress, we visit most of the South West.

We ventured up Glastonbury Tor, rumored resting place of King Arthur, also known as a big hill. Weird town, people don't seem to wear shoes and they sell lots of crystals. Would have liked to have seen the festival.

We visited the smallest city in the UK, Wells. I wanted to see the Hot Fuzz locations and Bella was mesmerized by the palace swans ringing bells for their food.

Stonehenge was a must for both of us, but all that's there is an impressive arrangement of rocks.

We visited the Roman city of Bath and enjoyed the delights of the thermal spa. Bella was in awe of Jane Austen's house and the Royal Crescent. We fossil hunted along the coastline, and ate fish and chips on the beach.

As the days went by, we headed further north, taking in the Blackpool Tower and a tour of Manchester United's grounds at Old Trafford. With our time here coming to an end, we headed towards London, where Bella squealed at the Harry Potter tour. We did get the obligatory shots of Buckingham Palace and Big Ben too.

I can't remember a day in the last two weeks when Bella and I haven't been joined together in some way. I'm hopeful that this will continue when we're back in America.

Boarding the plane home is bittersweet. We came here to fulfil a dream, but are taking home something far more precious. Those last few dollars of our savings have given us memories we'll share forever.

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Thank you for reading, I would love to hear your thoughts.


	12. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart for the mistakes, they are all mine. No copyright infringement intended.**

Without Marlena516 these words would never have seen the light of day. Thank you for your support and faith that this was something worth working on.

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Epilogue - BPOV

A chance conversation in an online forum for couples trying to conceive had piqued my interest. A couple had decided to actively seek out fertility legends; lo and behold, six months later, they were expecting. I really didn't take it seriously, but I could no longer face the disappointment of our doctor visits. Could barely look at bank statements without seeing how much we had already invested. It wasn't like I could say let's stop, after everything we had already gone through.

I'd dreamed of being a mother for so long, somewhere on my journey I lost sight of what I already had: Edward. He was everything to me; even when I could no longer look him in the eye, he was always the best husband I could ask for. His love never wavered. I wondered on occasion if maybe he would be better off with someone he could have a family with - someone who could be a real woman for him. I pushed us apart at times, staying late at work avoid coming home. I pretended to be sleeping at night when he slowly wound me into his arms. He never pushed for more, seeming content with being able to hold me, even when I was pulling away. Our turning point was the giant - hard to believe, but it answered our prayers. I didn't realize that I wanted my husband more than what we could create together.

When I suggested it, I had thought Edward would put up a fight. With it being the last of our savings, it meant we weren't able to try another round of fertility treatments. But I think he was ready to be human for a while, too.

The build-up to and the three weeks visiting the UK reignited our marriage, the lost passion and contentment. We were comfortable in each other's presence once more. The love overflowed and whether it was the giant or not, our dreams came true.

We are back to having a marriage to be envied. We are affectionate, loving, and beyond everything else, communicating.

Peering over at Edward, as he sits in the rocking chair, baby in arms, humming a lullaby, I will be forever thankful to an ancient monument five thousand miles away.

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Thank you to all who have read this story, I have been overwhelmed by your support.


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